How do I get Ozz to hire me?

OzzysWhoreOzzysWhore Posts: 105
edited August 2010 in Ozzy discussion
For several years I have been trying to get Ozz to hire me as his house keeper. I've sent numerous resumes to his fan mail address, but never to his house address (being afraid of pissing him off). I have even offered to work for free for him. I’ve even offered to pay him rent to stay with, work as his house keeper, and work for free. Every time I write… All I ever get is photograph or no response at all. All I want is some advice, tips, something on how to get my foot in the door with getting Ozz to hire me?
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